A grief filled reminder

Often we justify ourselves, we reason to ourselves why we do certain things and avoid others.  It is not until people or situations from an outside perspective challenge our attempts to comfort ourselves through our means of justification that we often are forced to come face to face with the reality.

For me this came through a recent event that came to my attention through a text message from a friend. An accidental death of a woman, a mother I did not know because I had always excused myself from ever actually speaking to her.

To count the number of times I passed her on the street, or the days we stood in the same school playground waiting for kids that I never took the time or courage to simple speak to her.

As soon as I heard the vague description of a woman, mid-thirties, three kids I knew it was her. I could picture her in my mind and in my heart there was no doubt it was her. As I asked questions to clarify, they only confirmed what I already knew it be true. It was too late.

As I shared my grieve and emotions over this with Chris over the next few days through talking it out the conversations quickly turned to that feeling of it being too late. When suddenly your heart and mind is flooded with the countless what if’s, if only and I could have.

I don’t know if anything would have been any different if I had taken the courage on one of those days to speak with her. But what I do know if that I want to be able to think like this before it is too late. To live boldly and courageously enough to speak, approach, to be uncomfortable, awkward maybe even scared at times, but to not excuse myself from the opportunities because, it’s cliché I know, but you never know when it will be too late.

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