Any given day it sets it, if the sun is shining through the normal spring clouds and if the birds are chirping, I want to run. Running makes me feel alive. I sweat, breath heavy, move less swiftly than I image but I feel alive.
This year is a little different. Currently being 38.4 weeks pregnant, slipping into my running gear and tying on the runners is more of a distant memory than a daily activity.
As the warmer days begin to set in, this is the thing I miss the most. It makes it difficult to be pregnant. I want to strap on the runners and get out there. Get the heart pumping, the sweat dripping, the legs aching with exhaustion and my breath panting to keep up.
What is it about that feeling? That feeling of being fully alive in the heart pounding, sweat filled times?
Pushing yourself to the max, pushing yourself to do something you know you are capable of. That success in accomplishing something hard, hard physically, mentally and emotionally.
As I pout and mull over wanting to run, I realize how much I crave this pursuit of something physically and mentally hard. The catch though is that I want it to be something that I know I can accomplish.
Something new, intimidating, unknown? No thanks, running is known, it’s comfortable, I know how to prepare, to pace myself, to push myself, I know how to reach success in this area.
preparing to give birth
to become a Mom
figure out how to nurse
to care for an infant fully
learn and love my changing body
The difference of tying on my shoes to take on this next season of life, full of hard things, physical, mental and emotional hard things, is that they are completely out of my sway or realm of comfort.
I will learn, just as I learned from that first day of tying on the runners and testing how far I could go, I will strap on my shoes to this next season to test and see what I am made of.